I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
