remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
