I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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