I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
