Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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