We need to rekindle our bromance
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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