I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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