You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
