I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
