then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize