I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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