then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
