nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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