I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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