if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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