grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
