Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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