Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
