O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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