Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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