I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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