My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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