I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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