so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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