I just made out with a guy for $7.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
