I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
