I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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