Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
