38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
