last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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