Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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