dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
