last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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