Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize