She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar