Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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