Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  What a fucking waste of an outfit

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  (415): What a fucking waste of an outfit http://tfl.nu/q0u1
  Replies (8) Good night (483) Bad night (1162)
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  (951): View more from California

  ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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  (951): ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am http://tfl.nu/357a
  Replies (17) Good night (3174) Bad night (1323)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.

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  (801): I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight. http://tfl.nu/gp42
  Replies (11) Good night (4613) Bad night (956)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.

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  (908): Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got. http://tfl.nu/yeqj
  Replies (12) Good night (1232) Bad night (4008)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

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  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (18468) Bad night (1312)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that

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  (610): Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that http://tfl.nu/6wwt
  Replies (9) Good night (2493) Bad night (1269)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.

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  (61): Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above. http://tfl.nu/o1v2
  Replies (5) Good night (819) Bad night (2223)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.

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  (205): High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead. http://tfl.nu/efrd
  Replies (11) Good night (2569) Bad night (596)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.

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  (303): You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June. http://tfl.nu/llud
  Replies (13) Good night (2757) Bad night (562)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours

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  (519): Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours http://tfl.nu/fxl2
  Replies (26) Good night (1511) Bad night (536)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

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  (314): Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night. http://tfl.nu/wauu
  Replies (5) Good night (409) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"

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  (949): You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker" http://tfl.nu/29yd
  Replies (0) Good night (588) Bad night (320)
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  (209): View more from California

  I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat

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  (209): I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat http://tfl.nu/qvh1
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (252)
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  (209): View more from California

  Why is my hat full of peanuts?

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Don't throw them out, I'm on my way

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  (209): Why is my hat full of peanuts? (719): Don't throw them out, I'm on my way http://tfl.nu/6fix
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (186)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka

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  (479): Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka http://tfl.nu/t2p9
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (161)

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