Plan B is the new Plan A
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Randomize
