biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
