I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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