Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
