is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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