It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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