i can't believe i had my finger in that
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
