So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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