then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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