My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
