We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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