Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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