thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
