hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
