the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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