Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
