I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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