hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
