Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
