can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
