Betty ford says i'm here all night
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
