you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize