the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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