For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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