did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
