You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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