I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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