are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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