she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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